


about being found

by suneater00



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blackwatch Era, Crying, Dad Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Description of Loss of Limbs, Minor Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Overwatch Recall, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Young Genji Shimada, Young Jesse McCree, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 10:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17486468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suneater00/pseuds/suneater00
Summary: It was awkward, at first. They haven’t seen each other in years. Haven’t said proper goodbyes before leaving. It all happened too fast, too hard on everyone; there wasn’t time there for proper, hopeful goodbyes - and perhaps, for them, there would never be time for those. Years after, Jesse still couldn’t put a finger exactly when it all went down.Since Deadlock, Jesse McCree has changed - still doesn’t know if it was good or bad. But he had, indeed, changed for good. Jesse learned to trust in those people, to believe in them with all their loving and caring gestures. Many of them slightly broken, be it by war or own personal backgrounds. Slightly broken, standing tall and finding reasons to keep going on.





	about being found

**Author's Note:**

> it is!!!! finally here!!! i am so glad i got to parcitipate on this event until the end. and i am so happy i got paired up with such great, welcoming artists! any grammar mistakes are my own, english isn't my native language. feel free to let me know if i made a mistake! i hope you all enjoy!
> 
> also don't forget to check out these amazing artists! they're great and their art is amazing and i love them.
> 
> art 1 and 2 by Fuge, fugeoni666 on tumblr.  
> art 3 by sophie, sophie.bull01.  
> art 4 by Mumford, toonestoons on twitter.

about being found

 

 

It was awkward, at first - well, of course it would be. All of the new faces aside, they haven’t seen any of those people in years, haven’t seen _each other_ in years. Haven’t said proper goodbyes before leaving. It all happened too fast, too hard on everyone; there wasn’t time there for proper, hopeful goodbyes - and perhaps, for them, there would never be time for those. All they knew about them was filled with the sadness of parting, was full of a hole inside a heart. The goodbyes they’ve experienced were mean, loveless things, ripping apart what they so carefully built. Just all at once, everything crumbling to ashes, dripping between their fingers like dry sand - the more they tried to squeeze and hold tight, the more it fell from their grasp. Their goodbyes have never been gentle or kind.

 

Years after, Jesse still couldn’t put a finger exactly when it all went down. Maybe there wasn’t an exact time when it all crumbled. He had seen the signals, the storm ever so slowly forming, gathering itself from broken pieces that were left unsaid; from little mistakes that grew bigger-- little things that, at first, didn’t matter that much, but grew stronger as they accumulated. If he really thought about it, maybe Jesse would say he was there when the first crack appeared. The first on a wall he thought was so solid, so strong that nothing could tear it down. At least not from outside - but the problem was: the first crack begun from inside. It’d begun from the very foundation.

 

It didn’t happen when Reyes killed Antonio, back in Venice. When all hell went loose for the four of them, Gabriel, Moira, Jesse and Genji; even if that was when, for the first time, for a few seconds, Jesse didn’t trust Gabriel Reyes with all his heart. But he didn’t really believe it started there. Because well, of course he got mad at the time, got angry and lashed out at Reyes, screaming at his face. Things didn’t go according to the plan, they had to run all around that city fighting with Talon agents, nearly losing Genji and himself in the process. But after the dust settled, they talked. Gabriel explained his reasoning, his suspicions - and made Jesse promise that he would not tell anyone about this.

 

Jesse didn’t. He saw Jack and Gabriel fighting after, but of course Jack would be mad. He got so worried with their safety and all of media attention and such. Days after days of trying to explain things to the UN, Jack working like crazy and Gabriel keeping to himself so to not draw more attention. At the end, things were kinda okay, Jesse thought. It wasn’t the first time Jack and Gabriel fought, Gabe didn’t do anything behind Jack’s back - so it was okay, at the end. Between their family, it was okay.

 

He would still stay that the actual crack between them came later.

 

Since Deadlock, Jesse McCree has changed - still doesn’t know if it was for the better. But he had, indeed, changed for good. He learned to trust. Learned to seek, find and see love again. Learned to trust in Gabriel, which later became a father figure, with all his small and big ways of showing love and affection. In Jack, after he saw through the whole Strike Commander persona, with his sunshine laugh and gentle hugs - Jesse kinda understood, then, how Gabriel loved that man so much. In Ana, with a kindness he didn’t know could exist; in Reinhardt, with a heart worth his weight in gold. Torbjörn, little Fareeha, Angela, Lena, Genji - and so many others. Jesse learned to trust in those people, to believe in them with all their loving and caring gestures. Many of them slightly broken, be it by war or own personal backgrounds. Slightly broken, standing tall and finding reasons to keep going on.

 

 

* * *

 

It took a while, but Jesse got Genji to trust him, too.

 

When he first arrived, he couldn’t leave the medbay bed. Genji didn’t quite remember his first days there, as they were clouded with pain and a deep, deep ache that didn’t just include his physical wounds. He remembers crying, too. Crying with heartbroken sobs that just made his missing limbs hurt more. He just- just couldn’t believe Hanzo had done that to him. His body was _gone_ , it wasn’t a broken arm or a bloody nose; it was gone. His home was gone, his family, the brother he loved so much. Genji couldn’t even feel his dragon within him anymore and that just hurt him more and more - at that point, everything did.

 

Dr. Ziegler was the first face he remembers - her gentle smile, kind gestures and calm voice. It did little to soothe him, though. He lashed out at her in anger and grief, among shouts and sobs. He knows it wasn’t fair, the way he acted. But what happened to him wasn’t fair, either  - still, he regretted it.

 

Later, much later, she became one of his best friends, one that would always be there for him. And he could see that she wasn’t the only one. At that time, it was strange, because - well, because how could these  people still be so kind to him? He didn’t deserve that kindness. He threw at them bitterness and anger; they answered him with kindness, with caring words. The way Angela looked over him. How Gabriel, even being his Commander, still would hug him after those missions that brought back unwelcome memories. Jesse would just be there, too, talking to him - after some time, his voice became soothing, it kept him from drifting away.

 

After some time, he realized just how important all those people became to him.

 

He realized that he, too, deserved that kindness.

 

He, too, could smile alongside Lena. He could hug Gabriel back sometimes, keep company with Jack in the middle of the night while watching old Ghibli movies in the common room when he saw that he wasn’t the only one being chased by memories. He could too hold Jesse’s hand and just talk away.

 

And the pain lessened.

 

And he felt like he could breathe again.

 

 

* * *

 

Jesse lost his arm.

 

Mission was a success, they rescued the hostages successfully, everyone was gathering at the rendezvous point to go back home in time for dinner. But no one saw those last hiding omnics. Jesse, Genji and Gabriel were doing their last round around the rendezvous point, making sure no aggressive omnics were left. The thing is, Jesse got too careless, too full of himself. After all, the mission was a success, easier than the intel predicted - at that moment, none of them thought that was suspicious. He was talking and laughing too loudly, spinning his gun in one hand. He flirted with Genji, who stifled laughs, half joking and half being serious, the two of them already warmed up to one another. Gabriel smiled at the two, snorting at how awkward, yet charming, Jesse could be.

 

When they heard them, it was too late - their reaction time was good, but not enough to go away safely. All the three were ambushed during that last round around the region. It was a sudden blur of movement around one corner and it was done. When Jesse looked down, his gun was on the ground and his arm, it- it wasn’t there. He felt a weird warmth, saw the blood dripping without stop and all he could do was get surprised about how much red there was. During that moment and a few seconds after, he felt no pain. Just- numb. He was numb. When Jesse looked up again, he saw Genji and Gabriel’s faces - technically, it would be more fair to say he saw Gabriel’s face and Genji’s eyes.

 

And then it all went back to being a blur. He didn’t remember being carried to their aircraft, didn’t remember the agonizing two hours that took them to arrive back at Gibraltar. Jesse couldn’t even tell how the hell he didn’t die from blood loss, but he would bet Gabriel did something about it. They were all trained for moments like these, after all.

 

When they arrived at the Watchpoint, Jack was there with Dr. Ziegler. He was the first one to receive the distress call from Gabriel and to go after Angela. Gabriel explained nothing over the comms, but he was talking fast, too fast - something went wrong. His voice was desperate; Jack could count on the fingers of one hand how many times he heard that voice from his husband. He could hear Genji muttering something in the background too, Japanese and English becoming one forlorn, quiet sound.

 

Hours went by, Jack kept looking at the sky, anxious. Looking for any sign of the aircraft. Angela was there, of course, looking between the sky and the Strike Commander. He didn’t inform many details to her, as he himself didn’t know them, but- they both understood it was bad.

 

When they arrived and left the aircraft, Angela gasped upon seeing Jesse, hands quickly going to work. She and her team took him away, not even giving time for Jack to see Jesse’s face. He only saw the blood, so much blood, and the missing arm. They left Gabriel, Jack and Genji behind at the hangar. There wasn’t time to try to console them, to tell that everything would be fine because _Jesse had lost so much blood and he wasn’t even awake anymore and-_

 

Jack hugged Gabriel tight, interrupting him.

 

“It’s- it’s okay. He’s gonna be okay,” he said, voice low enough so only Gabriel could hear. “He’s a tough kid.”

 

“I should’ve- I-,” a heavy knot in his throat interrupted him from saying anything else.

 

“Now, none of that,” Jack hugged him tighter. He kissed Gabriel’s forehead. “It’s gonna be okay, Gabo.”

 

Looking around, only Genji was still there, looking to where they’ve taken Jesse. He looked lost. His hands were limp by his side as if they didn’t belong to him. Jack’s chest hurt at that. He wasn’t particularly close to Genji, neither was Gabriel. But Jesse cared about him. Slowly, Gabriel and Jack started caring about Genji too. They weren’t close, but they didn’t need to be to care about him.

 

The sun was slowly starting to rise and all of Overwatch’s Watchpoint would be waking up soon - it would be no good for all the agents to see both Commanders so shaken. Jack looked at Gabe and took him by the hand.

 

“Let’s go back, okay? You need to rest,” Jack said softly. He kissed Gabriel’s knuckles and received a strained smile in return. He nodded.

 

Still holding hands, they went back inside. But Gabriel stopped - Jack let go of his hand at that moment. Blackwatch’s Commander hugged Genji, ruffling the boy’s hair.

 

“He’s gonna be okay,” Gabriel said. “and you, too. He’s strong- you’re both strong. Go get some rest.” Jack smiled at the boy. For a few seconds, he thought Genji might reject Gabriel’s hug, but the boy just stood there - neither rejecting nor accepting it.

 

“If you want, you can stop by our quarters later, Shimada,” Jack said. Genji looked up to him, slightly confused, taken aback. Jack opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. “We will probably eat there today and go visit Jesse after he- after he stabilizes. As soon as Angela allows it. So if you wanna pass by…” He shrugged. Genji nodded, looking back down.

 

And they walked away.

 

Genji stood there after they went away.

 

He hugged himself.

 

He looked down, too, and his arm wasn’t there. His legs weren’t there.

 

And, this time, Jesse wasn’t there too.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Jesse woke up, Genji was the only one there. He woke up slowly, the dim lights of that private room slowly shaping things, a soft smell. It was kinda funny to him that the place didn’t smell heavily like antiseptic, as one would expect. It actually smelled kinda nice, like mornings and something fresher. Jesse felt something in his - now only - hand and looked in that direction. Genji was sleeping on a chair, head near Jesse’s body on the medbay bed and holding his hand with his own flesh one.

 

Jesse couldn’t help but smile fondly at the sight.

 

He could feel a dull pain now, an ache on an arm that wasn’t there anymore. He looked down and- yeah, it wasn’t there anymore. Jesse sighed. He could feel his eyes stinging with unshed tears. Looked around, trying to spot anything that would give him a clue about how many days he has been there.

 

His movements probably woke Genji up, as he slowly tightened his hand - gently, just a pressure. He looked up, blinking a few times. Wasn’t using his mask as usual, so Jesse could see he drooled a little during sleep. That made him smile again. When Genji realized he was staring at a smiling, awaken Jesse, he tightened the hold on his hand, clutching it closer to his own chest.

 

“You- Jesse, I-... How… how are you feeling?” he asked in a soft voice, furrowed eyebrows and worried eyes. But soon after that he scoffed, now using both hands to hold Jesse’s. “I mean, that’s- that’s a dumb question. But. But you know… what I mean.”

 

“I know,” was Jesse’s soft answer. He sighed again. Looked down again. “It isn’t… hurting. Not much, at least.” He turned his head to look at Genji, not taking his hand back to himself. “Where is Gabe?”

 

“With Jack. They were waiting too, but the debriefing couldn’t wait anymore, so they had to go. But Reyes asked me to tell you if you’re awake that he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

 

“But is he... okay?”

 

“Yeah. He’s fine.”

 

Now that Jesse payed attention, he could see small fractions in the air - light reflection, maybe? It looked almost ethereal, in a funny way. He still felt sluggish and a little bit sleepy, but that was probably due to Angela’s care. It would be hurting much more without it, he guessed. Looking around again, he squeezed his eyes a little.

 

“Genji…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Where… is my hat?”

 

A few seconds passed, Jesse turned his eyes to Genji to see him wide eyed, mouth slightly aghast. And then he started to laugh. Jesse frowned at him and Genji just laughed more, clutching Jesse’s hand between his own, close to his chest. He sniffled. The laughter subsided and he looked up at Jesse, smiling, with glossy eyes - eyes so full of relief and soft feelings. Jesse arched one eyebrow.

 

“It’s in my room. I figured you would want it back in one piece, so I took it there.”

 

This time McCree smiled back. He took his hand away and embraced Genji with his arm, tucking his head in the junction between neck and shoulder.

 

“Thank you.” he mumbled. It wasn’t only for the hat.

 

Genji hugged him back, still careful. He said nothing, and Jesse understood that.

 

At that moment, the door opened softly, almost hesitantly. Reyes looked inside the room, his eyes meeting Jesse’s. He smiled a little and opened the door fully, staying silent as Genji slowly got up, rubbing his own eyes. Looking between McCree and Blackwatch’s Commander, Genji nodded, a small smile appearing before he put his mask back and went out of the room.

 

Gabriel stepped to the side, Genji closed the door behind him. Jesse’s face fell a little.

 

“He was worried sick about you, you know.” Gabriel mumbled, sitting on the now vacant chair. He wasn’t looking Jesse in the eyes anymore. “I mean- we all were. Are. But Angela said that you would be fine, so we relaxed a little, but not much because, well, we still weren’t allowed to come see you. And Jack, too, he will be here in a bit, he had to stay to finish signing a few documents and stuff, but  he asked me to tell you beforehand that he’s really happy that you’re- okay. Again, we all are, really. And-” he left out a breath he was holding since the ambush. He was rambling again, and he knew that. Rubbing his face, he looked up at Jesse’s face. He was smiling. A bit tired looking, a bit drowsy, but he was smiling.

 

“You rambled again.”

 

“I know.”

 

A few beats of silence, then-

 

“I… I’m sorry.”

 

At that, Gabriel looked at him again, surprised. Jesse had lowered his eyes, hand now on his lap, clutching the bed’s soft blanket. His voice was small. Ashamed, perhaps.

 

“I wasn’t paying attention. And I know better, you taught me better, we weren’t yet clear and I got too careless. I’m sorry I let you down.” his voice broke at the end, eyes down. Gabriel’s chest tightened so much he feared his heart might break too. “And, I- I lost my arm,” his words got slurred. “And now I- I won’t be useful anymore, I won’t- I won’t be useful to you. I am sorry I let you all down, and I… I understand if- if y’all don’t want me ‘round here anymore. I, I understand that.”

 

He reached for Jesse, one hand holding his and the other on his cheek, gently lifting his face. Jesse still averted his eyes, tears slowly escaping.

 

“Jesse,”  Gabriel started. Soft, gentle. Caring. He slowly brushed the tears aside. “Jesse, look at me. Please?”

 

He did. Slowly, hesitantly. He met Reyes’s eyes and saw some stray tears there, too. His breath hitched.

 

“There’s nothing to apologise for, Jesse. It wasn’t your fault. We all got careless. We thought we were safe, but we made a mistake and _mistakes happen_ , Jesse. Even if we train harder and harder, mistakes happen. And it’s-” he swallowed, averting his gaze for a few seconds before looking back at him. “It’s not fair what happened to you, too. And I am so, so sorry for that. If you want, we can make a new prosthetic, we can make all this work, but that’s not what matters.” he now hugged Jesse, still kind, still gentle, combing his fingers through his hair. “I almost lost you. And I am happy that you’re alive. I love you, we all do - me, Jackie, Genji, Angela, Lena, Wilhelm, Ana, all those people out there. We all love you. You will never be less in our eyes.” he pulled away a little, only to look Jesse in the eyes again. “Don’t you ever forget that. You are my _son_. If not by blood, by heart. You are my-” he hesitated for a few seconds, searching for words. “Pride is not the word I’m looking for. You are so, so much more than that.”

 

Jesse was staring at him. Eyes wide. His mouth opened and closed. And the words slowly settled in. And the tears came back. He lowered his head again, hand clutching his own shirt. Gabriel stood up from his chair and sat next to him in the bed. Hugged him again, arms warm and kind, tucking his head underneath his chin, slowly caressing his back and hair while Jesse sobbed, only moving closer.

 

For the first time in hours, days, they knew things would be okay.

 

 

 

* * *

 

After a few weeks, Jesse got his new prosthetic from a smiling Torbjörn while Angela watched closely. Genji was at his side, mask on, eyeing Jesse carefully. They then attached it and Jesse frowned. It stung a bit. It felt weird. Angela said it would get better with time. Then he smiled. From the door, Gabriel smiled too, relieved, arms crossed, hands gripping his own forearms.

 

A few days after, physical rehabilitation started. It didn’t go without a few bumps in the road, but he managed. It got better. And just like that, he was ready for more covert ops.

 

 

* * *

 

The thing is, only Jesse saw Gabriel’s face when it happened.

 

Jesse was the one who saw when they lost it for good, when Gabriel talked to Jack in such a cold, hard way, with words so sharp that he could almost hear Jack’s heart cracking and breaking - Gabriel’s, too. Not that Morrison answered with kind words - Jack responded with equal sharpness and then it wasn’t only his heart breaking anymore. After all, they were only human. They were bound to fight, to make mistakes, to say words that they would regret and apologize for one day, even if that day was almost 10 years after.

 

Even after Venice’s mission there hadn’t been such coldness between those two. Of course, at the time, Jack was worried sick and scolded Gabriel afterwards. But it was clear that the worry was for their lives and the scold was because Jack didn’t like Gabriel risking his life like that - he never liked it. And even after that, they dealt with the consequences together.

 

Back in those days, Jesse thought that was funny, Jack worrying so much about Gabriel being out in missions, risking his - their - lives. How could he be so worried time after time - they were both soldiers, for God’s sake. And not average soldiers, either. They were way, way more capable than any soldier out there in the field. SEP made sure of that.

 

Still, Jack worried. Gabriel worried, too, when Jack had to go out with his own unit.

 

Jesse was surprised when he discovered that they both got worried when _he_ went out on missions without either of them.

 

 

_Upon hearing that for the first time, Jesse frowned. He squinted at both of them, trying to understand a joke that wasn’t there._

 

_Jack’s eyebrows rose and Gabriel squinted back, half mocking the kid, half trying to understand the face._

 

_“What the heck,” Jesse said. Eloquent as always. Silver-tongued and all that._

 

_Jack looked at Gabriel’s face. Then at Jesse’s. He blinked a few times. Then he snorted, covering his mouth to cover a smile._

 

_Both looked at him, still frowning, “What.”_

 

_At the same time._

 

_Jack laughed out loud. He approached Jesse, who took a step back, shoulders hunched up. Defensive. Jack smiled upon seeing that and put his hand up, calling him over with a gesture. Carefully, very carefully, Jesse took a step in his direction. Then another. And suddenly a hand was on the back of his neck, gently drawing him the rest of the way in a warm embrace. Jack rested his cheek on the top of his head. Jesse froze in place. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Gabriel huffing, then smiling too._

 

_“Of course we worry about you, Jesse,” Jack said. Quietly, but surely. Not like it was a secret, but like it was something more suited for his own ears. Like it was his own feeling. That worry was his own, as it was the warm feeling slowly spreading within him._

 

_Jack looked up and motioned Gabriel to come closer, too. And then Jesse felt another pair of arms around him and Jack. Looking up, he saw Gabriel happy, satisfied smile._

 

_Jesse looked down. At that age, he was very tall already. But they still covered him with their embrace. He didn’t know what to do with his arms and he felt so, so clumsy._

 

_Jesse felt small._

 

_But for the first time, it was not a bad feeling. All those years back, when he felt small, it meant weakness. It meant punishment and heads down and following orders. Now, in that embrace, it only made him feel warm._

 

_They were warm, and Jesse allowed himself to close his eyes for a second. He didn’t see their smiles grow even more._

 

 

During the Venice’s incident aftermath, Jack knew what had happened, what Gabriel’s plans had been. He knew them from the start. Still, they argued. They were bitter over the incident, they spoke harsh words. They fought.

 

But nothing like this.

 

At that time, Jesse left the room before any of them noticed him. He hunched his shoulders. Defensive. This time, there was no warm hand to embrace him. A small part of him wanted to walk in the room, try to… to- what? _Talk to them?_ What could he do, really? Jesse felt helpless. He went back to his room.

 

A few months later, everything crumbled.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Blackwatch was in crumbles. A few years back, it would be a surprise - now it is not. They were short on units, short on gear, short on investments. They could not handle another mission, at least not one this big. _Give us some time._ But there was no time, no more than what Morrison already gave them. So it was with a bitter aftertaste that Gabriel, Jesse and Genji were sent outside. All by themselves, no backup. Again.

 

Those days Jesse didn’t make the mistake of getting distracted during them.

 

But Jesse didn’t blame Jack, really. He had bought the time he could. And Jesse saw firsthand what the UN could do, how people acted, how governments all over the world put everything in Jack Morrison’s shoulders as if he would make some kind of miracle happen; as if they only had to sit back and wait patiently for some crisis to be resolved. Meanwhile, they only had to smile and give interviews, press conferences - _We are doing our best, together with Overwatch_.

 

It was easy for them to give those Overwatch agents medals and praises, shake hands, to mention them in their elections and promise cooperation.

 

Not but a few years into the Omnic Crisis and they thought that Overwatch alone could handle everything, then. They _wanted_ Overwatch to be able do handle anything, to end a worldwide crisis by themselves. All because they didn’t want to waste their armies and resources when the great Overwatch Commander could do everything by himself. Because it was what the world expected from him.

 

It was easier to just depend on those agents and give the medals at the end. Or attend to funerals.

 

And about the covert ops, well, they couldn’t spend more of their country’s money on that, could they? What would they say if people knew - well, they already do know. But if no one said anything, they could pretend that it was all stories; some kind of conspiracy theory. So most people turn a blind eye to them. It was easier that way.

 

And when it all went down, they reacted with such expressions of surprise when “finding out” about Blackwatch and its covert ops that Jesse could’ve given them Oscars. Hypocrites, was what they all were. Reyes and his agents, under the supervision and command of Morrison, did so much for them all - they killed at the cost of their own lives with a greater good in mind. They were the ones dirtying their hands so Overwatch’s agents could receive their medals without gloves on.

 

One day, late in the night, Gabriel entered Jesse’s room. Genji was just leaving, a small frown on his face when he spotted Reyes. His eyes were red, as if he had been crying. He bowed slightly to his superior and left for his own room. Gabriel sighed and managed a nod.

 

Gabriel entered the room. Jesse was sitting on his bed, head down. He looked up at the sound, surprised. His eyes were puffy, reddish. As if he had been crying.

 

“Something happened, Jesse?,” Gabriel asked. Jesse snorted a small laugh.

 

“Nope,” he mumbled. “Nothing.”

 

And he looked up again, as if finally realizing who was there in his room. He looked at his bedside clock.

 

“Why are you here?,” sure, Gabe visited him, but not at that time. Unless something was wrong.

 

Gabriel locked the door behind him. He looked around the room with sharp, trained eyes. A few seconds later, he sighed.

 

“You need to go, Jesse,” was all he said.

 

Jesse blinked. Frowned.

 

“What.”

 

“Listen, I- We-,” Gabriel sighed. He rubbed his face with both hands. He sat down next to the boy, took a small breath and looked at him again. “You need to leave here. Leave Blackwatch.” Jesse McCree slowly turned his body so he was fully facing Gabriel.

 

“Why?,” was all he asked. Gabriel would not say those things in a joke. If he said that, he meant it. Jesse knew him since he was an adolescent - a child. He knew when the man was joking, with a soft and warm face full of mischief. He was serious now.

 

“It’s… complicated. More than you think. This problem now is bigger than us, Jesse. you need to _go_. Hide somewhere far from here.” Gabriel would start to ramble at any moment and he knew. So he took a deep breath again. Held Jesse’s face with both hands, kind, warm. Fatherly. “You need to stay away from this, you hear me? Tomorrow night, take your things and go. I already arranged your transportation. No one knows about that, and you won’t tell anyone.”

 

He said it all in one breath.

 

Jesse’s own breath hitched, hands holding tight on Gabe’s hood.

 

It was like he was a dirty kid again.

 

“Did you tell Genji that too?,” his voice was small. Gabriel understood, then, the puffy eyes.

 

“Genji has other issues, Jess. And we have no time to deal with that. Not now. Just-,” he stopped when he noticed how Jesse clung to his hoodie. When he saw the puffy, still shiny eyes.

 

He was still a kid in Gabriel’s eyes. He would always be allowed to be one with him.

 

“Please, listen to me. I want you safe.” Gabe’s voice was lower now, kinder. Like the way he talked to Jesse when he lost his arm. “You _need_ to be safe. If something happened to you, I- I would not stand it.” His eyes darted to Jesse’s metal arm and returned to his face. “Please, Jess, do this for me. Trust me. One last time, trust me.”

 

“What- What about Jack?,” he whispered, almost as if the low voice would keep the tears at bay.

 

“He’ll be fine. I promise you, nothing will happen to him. We already talked about this. He wants you to be safe, too,” Gabriel smiled a little. Bittersweet. “He was the one against making you leave today. He said you deserved to see everyone before going. You still need to keep it a secret. And… Jack didn’t want you to leave without saying goodbye, too.”

 

“But- I… I- Gabe, I _can’t_. I don’t wanna go. Genji’s already going away and I don’t wanna stay away from you.” it was useless, he knew. He would obey Gabriel. But he was sad and tired and hurt. The throbbing in his chest was like getting his arm ripped off all over again, but deeper.

 

Gabriel hugged him tight, keeping Jesse’s face against his chest.

 

“Come eat breakfast with us tomorrow, in our room. I’ll make those pancakes you like.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Reyes felt the tears in his own eyes at Jesse’s broken voice. He kissed his Jesse- his _son_ on the forehead. Two, three times. Wishing the tears away. He rubbed his back, hummed softly an old song.

 

A few moments lster, Jesse laughed, small and fragile.

 

“Why is it always this song, everytime. Don’t you hear anything else.’

 

Gabriel smiled at that. He held Jesse tight, who hugged back even more tightly.

 

 

_and i reminded myself of the words you said when we were getting on_

_and i bet you’re making shells back home for a steady boy to wear_

_round his neck, well it won’t hurt to think of you as if you’re waiting for_

_this letter to arrive because i’ll be here quite a while_

 

* * *

 

 

Jesse had his back against some pillows and a lapful of Genji.

 

He was a few weeks into his physical rehab. Genji and him were closer than ever. However, there were still no words between them, both scared, uncertain. It was  an unknown territory, those feelings - they still didn’t know how to read each other’s signs. But they were still young, and they had time. They could learn this foreign language, or even create a new one, just for them.

 

So for the time being, there’s gestures. Touches, smiles, laughs, weird stories and weirder movies. Hugs and hands getting closer and closer.

 

He smiled at the faces Genji made at the movie they were watching - Black Sheep. It was one of the worst movies Jesse could remember of. He was glad Genji was having as much fun as he did. He laughed and snorted at Genji’s gagging sounds, his hands coming to his mouth everytime he laughed too loud.

 

At the end, both were wheezing. Their hug got tighter without a second tought, Jesse’s head comfortably placed on top of Genji’s shoulder. His lips touched the artificial skin on his neck, making Genji squirm. He look at the boy on his lap, marveled.

 

“Are you- are you _ticklish_?,” he laughed, nuzzling on the same spot. That made Genji squirm more, grinning. “How can you still be ticklish, Gen?!”

 

Jesse took his time having fun, having fun, finding only a couple more ticklish spots. Genji had tears on his eyes, barely managing to keep them open as he laughed away.

 

A few moments later Jesse’s hand went still. He was supporting Genji’s body, still on his lap, with his metal arm - he still didn’t trust his control enough to use it to tickle someone. His flesh hand was now rubbing soft circles on Genji’s hip while he took a few last wheezing breaths. His face was flushed, eyes shiny with laughter tears, the smile still there - he wasn’t hiding it behind his hands now.

 

“How are you still ticklish?,” Jesse mused out loud, still grinning at the reaction he got. The movie was forgotten, already back to its menu after the credits rolled.

 

Genji twisted his body a little so he could face Jesse. His smile was warm.

 

“Angela was messing with my sensitivity today,” was the easy answer.

 

“Oh? Why?,” Jesse frowned. It’s been a long time since Angela had to do anything - besides repair - on Genji’s body. “Is something wrong?”

 

“No, no,” Genji looked him in the eyes. Looked down. Almost… shy? “I asked her,” he mumbled. “Uh, I-... I guess when I first got this body I didn’t want to… feel much? Like, people touching me. So I always asked her to keep that kind of sensitivity to a minimum.”

 

“What changed that now?”

 

“I… I just kinda wanted to be able to feel you better.”

 

It was only a murmur, but somehow so loud. Jesse blinked a few times. He didn’t know how to answer, so he held Genji against his chest. He leaned a little and kissed Genji’s artificial jawline.

 

Genji didn’t startle as he felt it coming, but he flushed all the same. The small smile didn’t leave his face.

 

“That feels nice,” he says. His hands grasp Jesse’s. It feels warm.

 

Jesse smiled wide. He kissed Genji’s jaw again. Kissed his neck, his shoulder, his cheeks. He stared st his eyes. They had a weird reflection, lighting up a bit in the dark. Jesse thought they were beautiful.

 

Genji leaned closer, closed his eyes and kissed Jesse on the lips.

 

He took Jesse’s hand, both metal and flesh, in his. Both were warm.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I am sorry, Jess.”

 

“It’s okay,” his voice was tight.

 

And Jack eyes told him that no, things weren’t okay - not right now. It just wasn’t supposed to be like this, everything wasn’t supposed to go down like this. But he hugged him, still. So warm, so full of unspoken words Jesse almost choked up.

 

“I’m sorry. I-” don’t want to lose you. Don’t want to lose anyone.

 

“It’s okay.”

 

Jack kissed the top of Jesse’s head, like a father would do. It was so tender, so loving and Jesse hugged him back, tight.

 

Gabriel stood in silence a few feet from them. He smiled sadly at the sight. He took a deep breath and walked over to them. Jack looked him in the eyes - sad, torn eyes. Gabriel smiled at him and hugged both of them at the same time. He took another breath and held it, lifting the two a few inches from the ground, putting them back right after, wheezing. Jack snorted, Jesse startled and laughed out loud.

 

“You two are too heavy for this,” he joked.

 

“Nah, you’re just old,” was Jesse quick answer. He quickly let go of Jack, standing a few feet from the now frowning Gabriel. Jack couldn’t hold back a laugh this time.

 

“You’re supposed to be on my side, Jackie,” Gabe mumbled, making Jack smile more.

 

“I mean, he has a point.”

 

“What.”

 

Jack shrugged.

 

“Are you really calling your husband old.”

 

“I didn’t say anything,” Jack grinned. “Jesse did, and I only said he has a point.”

 

“Which is the same as agreeing with him.”

 

Jesse looked at both of them as they bickered. Despite Gabe’s attempt at looking offended, he was still smiling. Jack now was saying something about how Gabriel didn’t even look his age, so he was fine. Gabe answered something, but Jesse didn’t hear it. He only heard their laughs, the easy smile in their voice.

 

He would miss this so much.

 

 

* * *

 

At the beginning, things were strained between them - which wasn’t a surpise. Of course it would be. First there was Deadlock. At the beginning, only more targets for Blackwatch - a quick mission.

 

Except Gabriel didn’t expect a fifteen year old boy, who didn’t seem to care about neither his own life nor other Deadlock’s agents’ lives.

 

“I can’t just throw him in prison, Jack,” he sighed heavily. He was standing away from his agents, head low as he spoke.

 

“Gabriel, I know how you feel, but-”

 

“Jack, listen to me. You are not here. You didn’t see the boy. He deserves more than this, he- anyone deserves more than what this boy have been through. I want to give him another chance.”

 

 _And people say I am the soft one_ , Jack thinks.

 

“I- I don’t know, Gabe, I- how would we explain this? He is still underage, has no family, as far as you know, or legal responsible. There is no one who legally can speak after him. And he still is Deadlock, the higher ups won’t hear anything I say, you know that, I- want to help you. You know I do. But the consequences-”

 

“We’ve been through worse. We’ve already done more dangerous things for lesser people. This boy deserves it. I want to give him another chance, I need to-” I need to give the chance this boy never had. “Please, Jack. Help me on this one.”

 

There was a pause, and Gabriel knew that Jack understood him. Those days, they always seemed to understand each other. Jack sighed.

 

“We… we will figure something out. We will make this work. Bring the boy with you.”

 

“Thank you, Jackie,” he could hear the smile in Gabriel’s voice. Both of them knew Gabriel would’ve brought the boy anyway. But knowing someone has you back is never bad.

 

“I love you. Come home safe.”

 

“Love you, too.”

 

They hung up, Gabriel pocketed his phone. He rolled his shoulders, trying to release some of the tension, and walked to where the boy was being held.

 

He was smaller than an average 15 year old, but just giving a look at the state of his clothes and hair, it wasn’t easy to guess why. The boy was sitting in a chair, head hung low.

 

“What’s your name, kid?”

 

He mumbled something.

 

Gabriel waited a few seconds.

 

Then a few more.

 

He crossed his arms.

 

“I’ll just keep calling you kid, then. Do you have any family, kid?”

 

The boy looked up then, an angry frown on his face, defensive.

 

“Someone who took care of you?”

 

Silence.

 

“Kid-”

 

“Jesse,” the boy looked down again, hands tight. “My name’s Jesse. McCree.”

 

“Huh, so- Jesse McCree. I am guessing you don’t have any family around here.”

 

The boy shrugged.

 

“Parents somewhere? Brothers or sisters?”

 

“I dunno.”

 

Gabriel knew it was going to be a long conversation. He went outside for a few seconds, startling Jesse, but came back holding a bottle of water. He gave it to the boy, who took it with uncertain hands.

 

“We don’t have food right now, but at least drink something.”

 

“... thank you.”

 

“No problem, Jesse.”

 

The conversation wasn’t easy, still. But it was better.

 

 

* * *

 

“I don’t understand this, I don’t understand why you’re doing this.”

 

“Gabriel, I don’t understand it too. I… I don’t want to understand it, but you know that Blackwatch is hanging by a thread. We know that. If they want this mission done, we need to get this done. We could lose everything we fought for all these years.”

 

“We won’t lose everything, Jack. But we may lose what’s important to us.”

 

“I- Gabe, please. I am not asking you to trust me because I know you do. I know that and I am so sorry I can’t do anything, but I am trying to do what I can, too, but-,” he sighed, frustrated, and rubbed his face with both hands.

 

Gabriel’s shoulders dropped at the sight. Jack was tired. He was hurting, trying to do what he could. It was hard on both of them. It broke his heart.

 

“Jackie,” Gabe’s hands were warm on his shoulders. Jack looked up, and the sight almost made him cry. Gabriel was smiling, warm, kind, forgiving. He had dark bags under his eyes, hair going silver in a few spots.

 

He was so beautiful.

 

At times like this, Jack always thought he didn’t deserve him.

 

“Jackie,” he repeated. “It’s okay. I’ll go. It’ll be a quick mission, I’ll be back before you even know it.”

 

Morrison nodded. He stepped forward, hugged Gabriel and leaned his forehead against his.

 

“I am sorry, Gabe.”

 

“Hey, it’s okay. I got angry for a moment, but I know it’s not your fault. You are giving your best. Hell, you always give your best, even for people that don’t deserve it,” Gabriel gave Jack a quick kiss on the lips. “Also, what do you think - we can travel somewhere when all is over. Take a long vacation, just you and me.”

 

That made Jack smile. Both knew that that idea was far, far away from them. But sometimes they indulged themselves, thinking about what would they do, where would they go.

 

“Come back safe, okay?,” Jack whispered.

 

“I will.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So, you’re back, too.”

 

It felt awkward.

 

“It seems so. At least for the time being. If even Jack and Gabriel are back, I can’t just stand on the same spot watching them,” Jesse paused. He breathed in. “And if even _you_ are back, I-... I can’t keep you all waiting, huh?” He smiled a strained smile, fingers fiddling with the end of his serape and eyes cast down.

 

“Jesse, I’m… sorry,” Genji frowned. “I’m sorry I le-”

 

“That’s okay, darlin’,” when he looked up, the smile he saw was true and so, so warm. So understanding. “You had to leave. You were only destroying yourself more inside Blackwatch. Of course I got sad- angry, even. But I understand now. And I’m glad you left. You seem better.” he looked down again, the small smile still there. “You seem at peace with yourself, and that’s all I’ve wished for back in the day.”

 

He heard a small hiss and when he looked up again, he saw Genji’s eyes smiling back at him.

 

He inhaled deeply, letting all the air out in one go.

 

His eyes still had that weird glow. He still thought they were beautiful.

 

“You have no idea how I’ve missed seeing you,” Jesse couldn’t manage to keep that for himself.

 

“I think I do.”

 

Genji smiled, took Jesse’s hands on his. Warm.

 

And for the first time in long years, Jesse laughed again, all snort and happy smiles. He knew, then, things were finally be okay.

 

 

* * *

 

It was early. Probably too early. He stepped lightly on the dim hallway, not making a single noise. Jesse went to the main window, high upstairs, where you could see the sun, the sea. After all his years, he finally understood why people made so many metaphors with the sun. When he was young, the sun meant harsh work. It meant dried blood under his fingernails, the smell of burning hair. It meant shouts, slaps, people crying and begging. When he was young, the sun was too harsh on his skin. So of course it would be hard for him to understand why people seemed to love the sun - why being called a sunshine was such a sweet thing.

 

Once, long ago, Jesse found an old book on Gabriel’s shelf. He didn’t quite remember all the details, the pages worn, the cover blue with golden details. It was obviously well-read. Still, he remembered a few quotes-

 

_He smiled, and his face was like the sun._

 

When he asked Gabriel about it, he had told him that it was one of his favorite books. It was old, very old, and he had read it when he was younger and fell in love with it. Jack had entered the room then, and smiled upon seeing the old book on Jesse’s hand.

 

_“You should read it too”, he had said. “It is actually really good. And Gabe cries everytime he reads it.” Gabriel huffed at that, an amused smile on his face._

 

Jesse made a face, but he did read it. And he cried at the end, too.

 

As weird as it was, he began to understand why people loved the sun. He understood why Jack called Gabriel sunshine. He just had to read that old book.

 

When Gabriel asked him what he had thought of the book, Jesse looked away, embarrassed.

 

_“It’s… good.” and Gabriel smiled at that._

 

_“I told you.”_

 

Now, Jesse looked through the Watchpoint’s window. He saw someone there, too, on the roof, and smiled. Slowly, without any rush, he went outside and sat down on the roof beside Genji. He was without his mask on, short hair a deep black, lips curved in a small smile. The sun was coming up on the horizon, a gentle, warm breeze messing Jesse’s longer hair. It was almost strange; after all these years, their hearts broken and unbroken time and time again, they seemed different people. And yet, still the same ones. New scars for some and newfound peace for others - for a few, both. And they still remained somehow true. Jesse couldn’t hold back a laugh, a soft sound against the gentle breeze.

 

“What’s funny?” Genji asked, mirth obvious in his voice. He still wasn’t looking at Jesse. And his fingers gently found the other’s, there on the ground beside them. Jesse’s hand was always warm.

 

“I just remembered about that one book.” he intertwined their fingers. “The one Gabe lent me.”

 

At that, Genji looked at him. His eyes seemed to shine more these days.

 

“That one about the greek myth?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Genji smiled at him. He took Jesse’s hand in his lap, now both of his hands playing with Jesse’s fingers.

 

“I need to read it sometime, too. Do you still have it?”

  
“I- I actually do,” Jesse let him play with his hand, gaze soft. “Gabe gave it to me. He said something about having too many books to read and too little time, and how I needed it more than him.”

 

Genji hummed. He said softly, “You did, back then.”

 

“I think we both did.” was Jesse’s answer, as soft as Genji’s.

 

And then there was silence. Not an uncomfortable one. It felt peaceful. And when Jesse spoke again, it wasn’t to fill the silence, to make himself more comfortable. He talked because he felt like it.

 

“I missed being here. Missed being with Jack and Gabe, with Ana, with you. And now I’m so happy I think this will all just- disappear. I mean, I know it will. Stuff like this doesn’t last forever. Nothing does and all that, but- I think you get me.”

 

Genji’s hand stopped caressing Jesse’s, then. Instead, their fingers were now intertwined.

 

“I do. But we’re here now and that’s what matters. You were the one who always told me to live in the moment and all that.”

 

They looked at each other and smiled, watching the sun slowly rising on the horizon. They could hear faint sounds of the sea way back, gentle waves. A gentle breeze. It was a gentle moment. And they deserved it.

 

Genji stood, stretching both metal and flesh limbs.

 

“We should go back inside. The rest will probably wake up soon.”

 

Jesse smiled and stood up, too. He took Genji’s flesh hand on his again.

 

“It is still early. And I still have those Ghibli movies in my room,” Jesse laughed mid sentence as Genji’s eyes seemed to shine at the mention of the movies, nodding and smiling while Jesse talked.

 

“We can do that, too.”

 

Things were better now. Getting better. Even if some people still weren’t _officially_ part of the new, kind of illegal, Overwatch. Jack remained as Soldier: 76, keeping his new vigilante persona. Ana remained with her missing status, helping Jack and the others when she could. Gabriel remained as Reaper, now a double agent. The new faces, too, not all of them would join this soon. But they all wanted to help. They all had some kind of bond, even if they didn’t understand it fully yet. It just felt like a big family, somehow. Scattered and newfound, but still a family. They were drawn together by a war that wasn’t their fault, by political schemes and governments’ mess. Sometimes drawn together by similar backgrounds, by falls and tears and sadness.

 

Jesse was slowly caressing Genji’s hand. It was a gentle touch

.

Genji couldn’t help but think for a few seconds. When they met, Jesse was rough. He was bruises and sunburnt skin, mistrusting eyes, careful steps. But his touch has always been gentle. Not like he was afraid Genji would break, it was just- _it was like he was trying to pour the gentleness he needed into the world_ , Genji thought. He smiled, brought Jesse’s hand to his lips and kissed it. One, two times.

 

“You know, Genji-”

 

A small pause. He looked up from Jesse’s hand, but still held it between his own.

 

“I missed this,” he said. Almost like it was a secret. “I missed being with you.”

 

Genji’s gaze softened even more. Now, Jesse wasn’t rough - not like he was, at least. His eyes were older, brighter. He still walked carefully, but now only because he didn’t want to disturb anyone. Skin still sunburnt, laugh lines slowly appearing.

 

“You are too soft,” Genji said, grinning. He stepped closer, his hand now on Jesse’s chest. He whispered - almost like it was a secret. “I missed you, too, you know.” He leaned up a little and kissed him, just a gentle brush of lips, and Jesse smiled during the brief kiss. He cupped Genji’s face with his hands, both metal and flesh thumb caressing the scarred, soft skin. With Angela’s job, it was hard to distinguish between artificial and human skin just by touch alone. It was something that always bothered Genji back in the day, but Jesse never once minded.

 

“It’s not fair that you’re the one to still be pretty after all these years,” Jesse said, smiling. He received a snort in return, small dimples appearing in Genji’s face as he smiled, brows furrowing. He held Jesse’s hands against his face with his own.

 

_I’ve missed this so much._

 

“You say as if you didn’t age well, too,” Genji kissed Jesse’s hands. They separated, both smiling, still holding hands.

 

“Let’s go back inside, then. You promised me some Ghibli movies.”

 

Jesse snorted this time. As the sun rose, they went back inside, walking carefully as to not wake up anyone. That day, even Genji’s cheeks ached from smiling too much. He felt soft, Jesse’s hugs felt soft, warm.

 

It still marveled Genji how, after all these years, after all the pain - the fall of Overwatch, Jack, Gabriel, Ana -, Jesse still managed to be kind. He still managed to smile like the sun, to warm someone with just a laugh.

 

“Oh, by the way-,” Jesse said, interrupting Genji’s thoughts, putting a small book on his hands. “Here’s the book. If you wanna read it.”

 

As he opened it, going quickly through the old pages, his eyes caught a phrase. He smiled and closed the book, thanking Jesse.

 

“Thank you,” he put the book on the bedside table and cuddled closer to the other man, smiling. “Let’s see if I am going to cry to.”

 

“Oh I will laugh so much if you cry too while reading it,” he joked, embracing Genji as they got comfortable again in his bed, one hand on his hip and the other petting his hair. “You’ll regret making fun of me for crying at it.”

 

“Hm, let’s see,” Genji mumbled, closing his eyes and resting his head on Jesse’s chest. He sighed. He hesitated for a few seconds. “I love you.” He felt Jesse’s hand stall for a moment. And then he felt a kiss against his hair, the hug getting warmer.

 

“Love you too, pumpkin.”

 

_When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him._

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Why do you still care so much about him? After all… that.” he heard Soldier: 76’s voice say. It sounded older. Slightly muffled because of the mask. Raw. If he would be honest, it sounded kinda lost, too.

 

Jesse looked at him, tipping his hat up so he could see him better from where he was sitting on the ground, back against the wall. Jack slowly took the mask off, hands hesitating on the edges before revealing his face. Not only he sounded older, but he looked like it, too. He looked sad. New scars there. It was Jesse’s first time seeing those big, painful looking ones on his face. He stared a bit - he knew it was kinda rude, and if Ana were there she would look at him with _that_ look, but. But Jesse missed him. _Gabe’s scars were smaller_ , he mused, metal fingers fiddling with the edges of his own glove.

 

Jack looked full of regret, pain. Full of all those bad feelings he had tried so hard to protect others from. Jesse thought that wasn’t fair, after all - _he gave his best. Made some awful mistakes too, but I did too. Gabe did, too. This isn’t fair on them._

 

Soldier’s eyes met his. He looked away with a heavy sigh. Jesse thought he may have understand, at that moment. Jack looked older, rawer, sadder. He broke once. He was still broken, trying to stand tall and searching for reasons to keep going on. It shouldn’t, but the thought that he hasn’t given up even after all these years warmed Jesse’s insides.

 

A few hours ago they had had an encounter with Talon members. Reaper. Some people whispered that he would be there. Jesse knew who he was, already. Had known for some time who Soldier: 76 was -

 

 _It really isn’t that hard to recognize my dads._ Was Jesse’s answer, smirking at him when questioned, only half joking. Jack’s breath hitched at that, but the mask concealed it.

 

Coincidentally - or not - they were at the same time there, on that lost city. Whispers had reached both of them. Rumors that Reaper was seen there recently. For slightly different reasons, they ended up there after hearing those bits and pieces of broken conversations. They saw him. But it all happened fast, faster than anyone could say anything. More Talon agents appeared and suddenly it was all a bigger mess than they could handle. All went down, no time to even try to talk with Reaper, Jack took Jesse by the arm and they both ran away from there.

 

“You care, too,” Jesse answered. They found themselves in a small, apparently abandoned apartment’s balcony. As they entered the place, Jack mumbled something about how he found out about this apartment and how he thought it would be a nice hideout in a pinch. The sun was just rising on the horizon and Jesse had to admit - weird for a place with such nice view be forgotten like this. He looked at Jack and saw how his face fell, eyebrows furrowing together. Closing up within himself. “Don’t need to lie to me, Jack. I am not lying to you, either.” he sighed again. Took his hat off, thumbing the rough edges. He mumbled. “Or are you just asking yourself that?”

 

“I…” Jack rubbed his face with both hands. He did not plan this. The mask was already forgotten. His plan was simple - go after Reaper. Find him. And then- and then… what? Then he would figure something out. He always did. Even without a conclusive, solid plan, he still went after him. Perhaps Jack was hoping for something - anything. As powerless as he felt, he could only hope. In Jack’s eyes, his hand couldn’t reach anything. Not anymore.

 

They both stood in silence after that. It wasn’t a bad silence, though. It was comfortable. Jesse had always liked comfortable silences. The sun was almost halfway up on the horizon and it was- well, it was beautiful. Jesse smiled, sighing and resting his head on the wall behind him. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, enjoying the warmth. The silence. Jack looked at him like that and couldn’t help but smile, too. He looked peaceful. _All grown up_. Jack couldn’t help but laugh quietly at that thought. It seems that Gabriel’s dad instincts rubbed off on him, after all.

 

Everytime he got protective over Jesse, Ana would tease him endlessly. _To think that you would take liking on that dirty kid_ , she would laugh. He never had an answer to that. It took some time, but he started to love that kid, too.

 

After a few seconds, Jesse opened his eyes. He stood up, stretching his arms above his head, cracking a few joints, metal and flesh. He looked at the sun once again, hat forgotten on the ground for now.

 

“You still wanna know why?” he asked, still smiling without looking at Jack. A few heartbeats passed by. Jack nodded and mumbled a soft _yeah_.

 

At that, Jesse finally looked at Jack again, softly smiling, the rising sun casting gentle light on his features. Jack held his breath for a few moments in the silence, without even noticing.

“I don’t know. I guess I will have my answer when I find him. At least that’s what I’ve been thinking - you know, talk to him again after all these years. Maybe that will answer me,” Jesse said. Softly, almost like it was a secret. It was funny, Jack thought, how rough he looked. How soft he sounded. Jesse looked at his artificial arm, flexing his fingers, metal shining against the sunlight. His smile widened a little. “Of all people, I think you understand that the most, huh?”

 

“I-” Jack said, finally releasing his breath. He didn’t know what to say. “I guess I do.”

 

Jesse looked at him again, grinning.

 

“Then everything will be fine at the end. You’ll see.”

 

Jack looked down, frowning.

 

He didn’t have an answer to that. He could almost laugh at himself now - the once Overwatch Commander, Jack Morrison, the one who always had something to say. He never lacked words. Now, it was almost like there weren’t enough words to communicate what he wanted - _needed_ \- to say.

 

But Jack Morrison needed words. Soldier: 76 doesn’t.

 

He looked up at a rustling sound, Jesse getting up on his feet, arms stretched above his head. The hat was still on the ground, forgotten for a little bit more.

 

“I… I am not saying that because I think it’s easy,” Jesse’s voice was smaller now. Not shy, neither insecure. Just smaller. “I know it’s hard. But it’s just that- I want to find Gabe again, Jack. The thing is…” He paused. Inhaled. Bent down to pick up his hat, hands fiddling with its frayed edges. If Jack squinted enough, he almost looked like the dirty boy from many, many years ago. “God never found me, but Gabriel did. And I want to return that.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> referenced quotes are from The Song of Achilles, from Madeline Miller (aka watch me try to write something without a single tsoa reference on it and failing)
> 
> leave a kudo and/or a comment if you feel like it! you can also find me on instagram, twitter and tumblr @koushieie
> 
> also jesse mccree makes me soft.


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